I was online the other day just seeing what there was to read. I came across another blog that really caught my attention and it made an imprint on my heart. It is a blog written by Susan Cottrell regarding the struggles of being a Christian and raising LGBT sons and daughters.
In this particular blog post (check it out here at http://www.patheos.com/blogs/freedhearts/2015/01/12/our-other-daughter-comes-out-facebook-wine-cornflakes/) , they were talking about how their second daughter came out publically as a lesbian, although she had done some privately in the past, and they included the “announcement” she posted on FB. What an amazing, strong, and courageous woman!
I have been debating whether or not to come out lately. Yes, my close friends know as do my cousins and sister, but that is all. If circumstances ever change and I feel that I can be free enough to live in the reality of who I am, I hope I have the courage of this young woman of God. I hope that I would have the courage to announce the truth of not only how I was made, but also the fact that I am loved as I am by the One who created me that way.
In the personal announcement she posted, she talks about the struggles, the searching, the pleading – all of which are all too familiar – as well as the pain and the questions and the fact that, in that moment, asking God if He hates you is a legitimate, reasonable, and realistic question to ask! She writes in such a succinct way that it is almost as if she has written the feelings of my own heart.
The terror of trying to tell someone you care for, admire, look up to, have a close friendship the truth of who you are is indescribable. That one simple phrase can tear your world apart and flip it upside down quicker than you can blink. One little sentence consisting of only 3 small words carries such immense power. Simply uttering the fact that “I am gay” can have such far reaching consequences – and it cannot be undone. Those words cannot be retracted once they are spoken..
Just that simple sentence gives the person on the receiving end complete control over the condition of your heart for the brief moment in time (which seems to last forever) where you are holding your breath fearfully/anxiously awaiting their response
I have had a friendship destroyed on the spot with that phrase and the ensuing condemnation – complete with being told I was an abomination. However, I have also enjoyed the freedom that comes from total acceptance and the knowledge that who you are attracted to does not detract from who you are as a person (priceless!!!).
I don’t know that I will ever come up with the courage to come out to the world (still feel that it is really none of people’s business – and certain people really do not need to know), but, if I ever do, I hope I will find the courage to express my heart in a manner as mature, assured, and confident as this young woman.
I hope you will click over and read her post.
I would also suggest you read their most recent post as it is a very powerful representation of what it is like to live in the closet, denying your true self, while trying to live a “normal” life. The personal and emotional cost is truly a high cost to pay. http://www.patheos.com/blogs/freedhearts/2015/01/28/the-complicated-pain-of-hiding-your-true-colors/